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Why so much pressure on expectations?

I have been living in the south my whole life. There are certain things expected and rules that ladies of the south are raised by.

I interviewed some of my friends and family.

Below are some of the rules they have been taught.

Most rules a southern lady is raised by:

Always say yes Ma’am/Sir and no Ma’am/ Sir

No wearing white after Labor Day

Do not swear. It’s not lady like

The man is supposed to come to your house to pick you up on a date

Raise your children in church

Choose your battles

No need to worry about things you can’t change, just pray about it


By Savannah Peak

By 24 or 25 in the south, you are expected to already be settled down or to start settling down. At 24, a woman of my age and status is considered expiring goods.

Because I am not married, I’m still in college, living at home and do not have any children. Most people I know are either married or engaged, have one child or working on one, and possibly paying their first mortgage.

Southern society puts such pressure on young southern women about marriage and family. I myself have been subjected to this pressure. Anytime I go to family or social gatherings I always hear, “where’s your boyfriend?”, “You ain’t married yet?”, “You don’t have any babies yet?” Not to mention the fact that when I say “no,” someone always has a cousin, brother, nephew, co-worker or friend who is a nice young man that I need to meet.

Why does the south rush young women to get married and start a family? Why not encourage them to focus on their education or their career as well? Everyone is different — that is a given.

As a society, let’s not frown upon differences. We need to embrace a woman’s choice to either chase a career or raise a family or juggle both. They say timing is everything. Some people’s time is just slower or faster than others.

My question is why do we put so much pressure on these expectations of our young women in the south?