• 64°

Turning the cardboard box into a goldmine

By Staff
Arthur McLean Managing Editor
So long Atmore, it's been a fun two weeks, but I'm off to make my fame and fortune.
Okay, maybe that's not quite true, but I've been inspired.
You see, I have an apartment full of cardboard boxes. Stacks of, piles of, arrangements and vinettes of cardboard boxes, everywhere I look. Over here, boxes that once held reams of paper, over there, boxes that once held cereal, or water bottles or booze.
Between work and, work, I'm still trying to get my life out of boxes since I moved to this lovely burg.
They sit there, I swear they're multiplying while I'm out. They stare at me, taunt me, and generally refuse to unpack themselves and put their contents in place.
I've come to the conclusion that I just have too much stuff for one human being, and I don't even have a couch.
But on the horns of a delima is born inspiration.
I'm counting on you, gentle reader to keep this idea just between us.
I've decided to find a way to make cardboard boxes the next big thing in home decorating.
Yes, I know, it's brilliant, even better than designer salad dressing and friendship bracelets.
All I have to do now, is figure out a way to put all these boxes to use, preferably without having to unpack them. Just make it look like they're supposed to be there, that it's the hippest coolest urbane thing ever.
After that, a little marketing, and the world is mine.
Trade in the day job for daytime TV, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous and trading stock tips with Martha Stewart.
I'll get my own signature line of value designer cardboard boxes at Target with my beaming mug hanging on giant posters from the ceiling. The designers from "Trading Spaces" will devise brilliant ways to copy my cardboard box idea on a limited budget, and I will laugh at the irony all the way to the bank.
Now, to just get that idea that works. I'm accepting submissions from my readers for a limited time. I can't promise fame and fortune, but you'll be able to keep warm with the knowledge that you helped a worthy cause.
Better yet, if you're one of those interior designer on the cheap types, I'll cut you in for a percentage once you've turned my apartment into a cover of "Architectural Digest." I have a lot of "material" you can work with.
You just have to unpack it first.