By Staff
Arthur McLean
Autumn officially begins Aug. 22. Of course, for those of us on the Gulf Coast, that's the mythical beginning of fall. We still have a good three weeks of sweating and about another month of hurricane watching to do before our fall starts.
I don't think I've ever been more ready for fall, real fall to start. My definition of fall, real fall, is when I can wear a long-sleaved shirt outside at noon and not worry about the collar turning into a salt mine.
It may not be the hottest summer on record, but it sure felt like it. I'm sure a failed air conditioning compressor in the old truck hasn't helped matters. Everytime I have to hop into that thing, I begin to think about a career in radio. An air conditioned studio sounds tempting. People tell me I have the voice – and face for it. Just look at that mug there, if you can.
I'm beginning to envy Sean Hannity.
Here's this summer by the numbers. The average high for June was 88.3, July 91.7, August 89.5 and September so far 89.9. We had 17 days in August that were 90 degrees or worse. That may not be record heat according to the National Weather Service, but it is for me.
Anytime there's an outdoor gathering, you see more people wiping sweat and fanning themselves than shaking hands. Makes it hard to concentrate and take notes when beads of water are constantly forming on your head and running down your face. It's downright uncomfortable.
I try to take my mind off it. I try to imagine hanging out in a winter ski lodge with the Fox News babes. It doesn't work. Even watching football – and congratulations to Troy (nee State) University – can't conjure temperate coolness needed to assuage hyper stimulated sweat glands.
Obviously, our forebears, who would brave the summer in suits and no AC were a stronger breed. I can't imagine listening to Huey Long sitting in a seersucker for an hour or better after noontime in Louisiana. But, somehow, they did.
Niether do I envy football players stuck in helmets and shoulderpads this time of year. It was a long time ago, but I remember those days on the practice and playing field. Kinda makes me glad I'm old now.
Bring on the fall weather, shrinking days and sweaters. I'm ready for it.
Arthur McLean is the editor of the Atmore Advance.